I have been smashed every day of this past week (starting on Monday). I did not do anything really proud on Saturday of last week either. Actually, I did really shameful things.

In any case, I think it’s a problem when the person I made out with friends me on Facebook and all I can think of is, “I could’ve done worse.” At the same time, that means, “I could’ve done SOOO much better.” — I do remember trying to dance with one guy yesterday and he was like, “I have a girlfriend, but if I didn’t, I would totally dance with you.” Such empty words. That just made me embarrassed, well, as embarrassed as I can be when I am drunk (which I guess is not that much).

All I can remember about the guy yesterday, besides the fact that I tried to avoid him for half an hour but then after I finally caved and allowed him to buy me (and my roommate, who also took his drink) a drink, I was just like WTF, and I made out with him. I followed him to the top floor of the club and basically made out with him on a sofa. But I felt sooo shitty the next day, because I know I was not attracted to him. All I remember was his annoying voice, how he kissed like he was a skeleton, and how he was really rough. I remember saying at one time, “You’re too rough.” But he just kept on going with whatever he was doing. That was not considerate, and seriously, that tells me miles about a guy when he doesn’t listen to me.

And then later that night, when I went up to my room, my roommate was just like, “What is that on your neck?” And I realized I had a hickey. I texted him and was like, “That was so not cool that you left a mark on me.” And even though he gave me three texts apologizing, I still felt so shitty afterwards the next day.

But he just FBooked me. And like any other student stalker, I checked out his pictures. At least he’s not horrible. Not my cup of tea, but not horrible either.

I think what gets me the most is that his voice is not one I liked. And that he did not listen to me even if I did not tell him explicitly to stop. Guys are just supposed to know.

Thank god a good guy (he wasn’t even that close of a friend) took care of me the entire rest of the night. He was so sweet because he didn’t try to do anything. He just made sure I had enough water to drink. Even though he did try to kiss me once, he didn’t try to afterward, because I don’t think he wanted to take advantage of a drunk girl. Because he was one of those guys. It’s only so sad that we don’t have any good conversations when I am sober. I remember trying to talk to him once, really hard, because my friend told me that he thought I was cute. But it was so futile for me. In any case, what he did yesterday was extremely sweet and I am glad for it.

Well, I am actually tired of getting smashed every night now. I am not getting that smashed anymore.

By the way, if you can’t tell, I am a bit tipsy right now. Not drunk (because I don’t want to get to that stage again), but tipsy.

I think I will really miss my roommate after graduation. We have grown very close to one another, I would think. I’m sure we will keep in touch. During senior week, we have planned to a write a letter to each of our future husbands (I will be writing to hers, she to mine) about the other, and this letter is supposed to be opened on wedding day. I also know that I will definitely be invited to her wedding as a bridesmaid…whenever that is.

We also have a bet going on (the stakes are too low, I know) that whoever doesn’t get a boyfriend for three months first will have her boyfriend pay for all of our drinks once we meet again.

I want to record down a few memories though

1) Whenever we crap, we always spray my roommate’s body spray in the bathroom. So it smells like fruity crap.

2) She has picked up from me to make weird noises. I just randomly make noises sometimes.

3) Whoever takes the last piece of food on a plate or the servery is “one of those people.”

4) She has surpassed me (I was the teacher) in getting guys. Yes, she goes up to strangers and just…goes with them. Lol. It isn’t as sketchy as it sounds.

5) She said she felt like she was dying while she vomited from excess alcohol.

6) People randomly get our names mixed up. I think it’s because we’re together too often. I admit, we have the same initials, same number of letters in both our first and last names, and contain 4 of the same letters in our first names.

7) Both watch too many TV shows for our good (but she watches way more)

Both need boyfriends. Lol.

I’m sure there are many other things too, but ah…college is coming to an end! One of our futons has been carted away and the ottomans are gone. Tomorrow, our fridge and microwave will be gone. Soon, we will just have a big empty space as our common room.

One of the major pet peeves I have is when people just keep information from others without really needing to. It makes them seem super competitive and not friendly. It gives me this vibe that they would throw you under the bus if it would benefit them. It seems like they would be willing to partake in sabotage.

I remember when I was in sophomore year, I disliked my current roommate because I felt she was always so secretive. If there was an opportunity that showed up — came along in an email chain or something — she wouldn’t necessarily forward it on. She would talk about it after the deadline was over. That really irritated me, but I felt like she stopped being like that the longer I got to know her.

Until today again. I found that she had been tutoring someone since last semester. This isn’t such a big deal, so I don’t understand why she even kept it from me. To make me think that she doesn’t have any outside source of money? Why? She got the tutoring gig through a website that I recommended that she sign up for (because I had signed up for the website and that landed me with the tutoring job that I currently have of tutoring three hours per week). I told her she should earn more than the $14/hour she is getting at the college. I told her to set her rates at $50/hour. But when she got the job, did she tell me? No, she didn’t even mention it until it slipped out today when we were talking about where she would stay in China this summer and she said she would be staying with a person that she is currently tutoring.

This just really annoys me. I don’t understand why she felt the need to place that secretly. I almost feel as if because this is something that she is earning money from, she doesn’t want to tell anyone else for fear that she would get competition. To me, that’s just really selfish and unnecessarily secretive, especially towards friends.

Well, in any case, I don’t give a damn. It’s just really annoying, but as we’re graduating soon, I’m just going to put this out of my mind.